RAD Reality.com

tconnor · 08-22-2007, 09:51 AM

Relationship Advice #78
Love

There are many types of love. Love of fine wine, friends, children, work, life, in-laws, siblings, spouses etc. etc. In this weeks tip I would like to focus on two basic types of love: conditional and unconditional.

Conditional love is when you love someone – if or when. I will love you if or when:

you behave.
Get good grades.
Lose weight.
Are nicer to me.
Keep the house clean.
Make more money.
Change something (attitude, behavior, philosophy)
Stop embarrassing me in public.
Come home on time.

There is more but I am sure you get the point.

Unconditional love is when you love someone as who they are. No expectations for changed behavior, no attachments, no manipulation, no emotional games. You love them just because they are alive and in your life.

One of the great tragedies of human relations today is that very few people have had the experience of being loved totally unconditionally. There always seem to some stated or underlying and or un-communicated expectations for something to earn the other person’s love. We don’t earn love from another, we are love for who we are, who we are becoming in spite of our frailties, errors, mistakes.

Parents, spouses, friends, seem to fall short of this ability to love unconditionally.

Pets and even a few cats, have this ability. Babies have it. God has it. But people seem to often lack this willingness to love without strings, attachments or expectations.

If you are one of the lucky few who has had the experience of total unconditional love by another human you are fortunate indeed. For the rest of us we will continue to search for it as we travel down life’s path.

There is also another way to look at this issue. Do you love unconditionally? Or, do you place strings on your love or barter it for something in return?