Relationship Rituals

[tconnor]

Marriage Relationship Advice #180
Relationship Rituals

With the passage of time relationships can tend to fall into some negative and positive routines. Many of these contribute to the nurturing of the relationship while others can undermine its success. One of the things I have discovered over the years is that developing some rituals that become a routine part of the relationship can ensure that the relationship can stay on a positive track. Although no relationship is perfect, or ever will be, all relationships are either getting better or getting worse. They all experience ups and downs at various times and these rituals can help keep the relationship focused on those attitudes, behaviors and feelings that you want to see continue as well as help eliminate those that are no longer contributing to a healthy relationship.

Let me give you a few examples of some of the rituals I have come across over the years. Some of these have come from friends, some peers and others from members of my audiences who have shared them with me. Some I have actually developed myself and have used them from time to time.

1. Have a date night on the same day of the week or days of the month. This date night isn’t subject to cancellation regardless of career or other issues. It takes priority no matter what.
   
   
2. Spend one day (or portion of a day) at least once a month discussing the positives in your relationship as well as some of the things you would like to change.
   
   
3. Play odd and even. Each partner is either odd or even (not in personality but the day of the week, week of the month or month of the year. If you are odd that means you call if you are out of town on odd days, even days your partner calls. Odd years you get to choose where and when you vacation, even years it is your partners choice. You can have some fun with this. It can include things like: who cooks, initiates sex etc.
   
   
4. Once a quarter one partner surprises the other with a special weekend retreat. Take turns.
   
   
5. 5Every morning one partner brings the other coffee and juice while the other sends flowers or some small token that says you are special. - I thought of you today and I want you to know I appreciate you.
   
   
6. Develop a list of 13 behaviors you would like to work on as a couple. For example: better or more honest communication, more fun or intimacy, better listening or emotional support etc. Write each of them on a small separate piece of paper. Then put all 13 pieces in a jar and once a week one of you pulls one form the jar (take turns each week) and that is what you both focus on as a couple that week. Put this piece in a separate jar at the end of the week so you don't pull the same one out again. Now pull out a new piece and work on that for the next week and so on for the 13 weeks. At the end of the 13 weeks put them all back in the original jar and start all over again. Repeat this 4 times so at the end of the year you will have worked on each of the 13 behaviors for a total of 4 weeks. This one works.
   
   
7. Your turn. What are some rituals that you have in your relationship that keep it centered, focused and on target?

[alonzosay]

hummmmm

[jeni_kristina]

I wanna just a say:
Maintain a relation is very hard task ,make a relation is easy but maintain this relationship is really very hard
but you have a strong relationship then never you have a problem