Avoiding Misunderstandings

[tconnor]

Relationship Tips #58
Avoiding Misunderstandings

One of the biggest contributors to poor communication in relationships is repeated millions of times a day somewhere in this world. “I didn’t say that or I didn’t mean that.” I’ll bet you have said it or heard it in the past week.

What is the cause of misunderstandings in relationships? There are a number of reasons let me share just a few with you.

1. Hidden agendas.
2. Poor communication skills.
3. Poor listening habits.
4. Unspoken expectations.
5. Suppressed emotions such as guilt, anger, blame or resentment.
6. Ego centered communication.
7. Psychological game playing.
8. Emotional immaturity.
9. Not correctly reading someone’s non-verbal signals.
10. A history of disappointment in the relationship.
11. A lack of trust and or respect in the relationship.
12. Not willing to hear reality.
13. Clouded perceptions.
14. Old emotional baggage that gets in the way of the current dialogue
15. Poor vocabulary.
16. Incongruent verbal and non-verbal messages.

A lot to consider and too much to write about in this short tip. Let me give you a few ideas to help prevent future misunderstandings.

1. Stay focused in the present.
2. Get your ego out of the way.
3. Become a better listener.
4. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
5. Let go of your illusions in life.
6. Improve you ability to communicate with clarity.
7. Recognize that the words we use are not necessarily interpreted by others in the same way.

None of these are easy, I know. I don’t do them all the time either, and I know what the rules, causes and outcomes can be. But, being aware of them can help you a great deal in reducing the misunderstandings in your life. One reason to do so is you will live with less stress. And stress is one of the major causes of all sorts of illness today.