Private Time

[tconnor]

Relationship Advice #154
Private Time

Sooner or later each of us needs some private time away from the expectations, demands and even the support of our partner. I am not suggesting here what many people commonly refer to as “I need some space.” This is usually a way people who cannot communicate their feelings honestly say to their partner, “I want to end this relationship.” Not always, mind you, but more often than not.

The private time I am referring to is quite different. It is not designed to be an escape, but a period of introspection, contemplation or just looking at some aspect of your life where positive changes might be in order.

People who are in relationships where one or both of the partners travel a lot have time apart, but they don’t necessarily use it for the above listed reasons. There are meetings, travel issues, career responsibilities and so on that prevent the quiet private time that each of us craves and needs for inner peace, physical and emotional health as well as an opportunity to reduce your stress.

There are many ways to find this quiet time. You can meditate, take walks in the park or woods, you can take a drive along a scenic highway or you can just walk your dog. You can attend a retreat, vision quest or any number of spiritual events that last from an hour to several weeks, even a year in some cases.

Or, as an alternative when life seems to be overwhelming, you can just drop out and walk away from the pressure, stress, responsibilities of life, your career and/or your relationship.

Over the years I have discovered that people who tend to find outlets for the stressors in their life and take the time to have ‘private’ time, tend to have better and more positive and nurturing relationships than those who don’t. Why is this so? One reason is that there is no need to ‘take out’ their frustrations, anxieties or issues on their partner or even bring them into the relationship. Relationships are hard enough as it is with their own challenges. Why make them even more difficult by bringing all of your pent-up career or life issues to your partner for them to solve. There is nothing wrong with discussing career or life issues, problems, challenges etc. with your partner, that is not what I am saying - so don’t work yourself into a twit here and e – mail me that I have gone over the edge. (I know I have anyway, so I don’t need you to tell me) So, where was I?

We all have the answers to life inside us that we need to survive, prosper and experience a joyous life that was meant to be, but we need to quiet our world from time to time so that we can hear this inner guidance. It would be like trying to write a serious letter with any number of external distractions going on at the same time. Yes, the letter might get written, but how good would it be? Why not take some time this week for yourself to listen to your hearts inner urgings. They may surprise you!

[jeni_kristina]

Hello, your advice was excellent and it really works for beginner also.
Thank you!