The Value of Appreciation

[tconnor]

Relationship Advice #199
The Value of Appreciation

One of the best ways to keep relationships positive, regardless of whether they are with friends, relatives, business associates or customers is to show appreciation. Going out of your way often to tell people how much you appreciate what they have done, regardless of how unimportant or little it might have been, puts you in the minority of the human race. (unfortunately)

Here is a quick example.

Each year I give away between 2000 and 3000 books to relatives, friends, clients and strangers. In the last ten years that’s over 20,000 free books I have given away valued at between $15. & $30. each These people have received a gift. Unsolicited yes, but a gift nonetheless. How many people do you think have taken the time to say thank you in the past ten years? (either calls or notes) Less than 25 in ten years. Almost everyone says thank you when I give them the book.

Granted I didn't have to give all of these people this gift and most don't feel obliged to send a second thank you or make a special call. They either didn't appreciate the book or they felt a simple thank you was adequate. I am not talking here about being polite or friendly. I am talking about going just a little further with your appreciation than a verbal response.

I guarantee someone in your life has done something for you in the past thirty days that they feel deserves some appreciation. Here are a few tips to consider:

1. Call at least one person a day and thank them for something.
2. Send out 5 thank you notes a week.
3. Don’t wait to show your appreciation. Do it now.
4. Do what you do for others without the expectation of appreciation. When you want something back that is not a gift but an act of barter.
5. Send a special friend a surprise gift. (it doesn’t have to be expensive. It’s the thought that really counts.)

When you are appreciative, it makes other people feel like doing more for you, even though that was not your agenda. When you fail to show appreciation, it makes others feel like doing less or nothing for you. It's human nature.

I guarantee that someone in your life feels a word of appreciation would be in order. Can you guess who it might be? One way to ensure that people do not feel slighted by you is to develop an appreciative consciousness.

What have you got to lose. A sincere thank you doesn’t cost anything and it can mean so much to people who have gone out of their way for you.

I cant tell you how many times I have held doors open for people as they entered a hotel or the post office during the past two weeks who ignored the gesture. Yes, I didn't need to hold the door open for them, but an acknowledgement would have been nice.

Recently I overheard a brief conversation between a man and a woman after he held open a door for her. She said, "you don't need to hold that door open for me because I am a women I can do it for myself." He responded, "Miss, I didn't hold that door open for you because you are a woman but because I am gentleman." If you are the appreciative type do you do if because it is who you are or because you want something in return?

My final thought for the week:
Appreciation is not a manipulative tool. You don't use it so people will give your more or do more for you. You give it or show it because it is the healthy thing to do both for the giver and the receiver.